mike & molly take on the met part deux

so last week i posted part one of a co-ed fashion review of incredible gowns from the costume 

institute's gala at the met. 

now, finally, part deux!

lets jump right in, shall we?

(again, all images via Vogue unless otherwise noted)

.florence welch in ysl with stefano pilati.

molly: in 5th grade i did my very first research paper... on yves saint laurent. although not myself a fashion designer, i have always truly adored and admired the work of such creative genius. 

also: have i mentioned my love of gingers?! 
her firey red hair, enormous white fur, and beyond fab 70's-era-channeling ysl gown are spot on, and just so...flo. stefano pilati, maestro as he may be, seems to be channeling a different kind of fabulous.

which is just fine with me... but, i ask of you, 
where the hell are his crazy cool medallions?!
mike: this photo speaks to me. you have one of the beegees in an ascot, a scarf... or is that a dickey. who the f*ck knows? florence welch looks like she'd be hanging with the aforementioned Jenny Gump. [see alexa chung in part one] 
and lastly, she has one angel wing slung over her right shoulder... a trophy of some sort?
lets just hope the dog days aren't over because she skinned snowflake and decided to wear him.

.ashley greene in donna karan.
molly: she is so gorgeous! this dress is stunning, 
and she wears it beautifully. 
her hair & accessories are fine, but... the DRESS. 
kind of obsessed, actually. 
hmmm, wonder where she lives... 
(kidding! its not like i have a lock of her hair in two mini ziplock baggies sewn under the top right corner of my pillow or anything...)
mike: she is one of my favorites, too. 
but the dress doesn't do her justice. 
she looks like the starbucks mermaid. 
plus its kind of bland. 
but, i'd be into her siren song. classy girl. 
sidebar: her portrait nudies on whatwouldtylerdurdendo.com changed my life. consider me officially going greene.
molly: really? reeeeally? you're going there? really?
moving on...

.blake lively in chanel with karl lagerfeld. in himself.
molly: serena vanderwoodsen is my favorite! what? oh come ON, its not like you don't watch it, too. 
and if you don't, you should. love the draping, 
love the color on her--more ginger love!--and am more than slightly jealous that not only is she able to own this look, but be besties with karl! 
may i call you "karl"? 
he looks like a cross between george michael and gary oldman as the old version of nosferatu 
in dracula. 
mike: she is a tough one for me to figure out. really like her hair that color...she's plenty sexy, but if you're going to rock a toga...do it for real. 
karl lagerfeld is doing his thing...
pockets filled to the brim with cialis. 
the medic alert medallion around his neck tells blake who she should call in an emergency. 
i'm 50/50 that he has his jacket on inside out.

.frieda pinto in chanel haute couture.
molly: ugggggh. she is so gorgeous, what the hell? adam levine called; he wants his tie back. 
and he's pissed that you stole his cheap drapes.
(and this is chanel?)
mike: for $200, which blues brother are you channeling: a) jake, b) elwood, c) the one jim belushi played in blues brothers 2000 d) all of them. thanks for playing... 
i asumed they got paid on slumdog millionare. 
freida is normally a woman of style, 
but her swatch watch tells a different story.

(via pinkdandychatter)

.gisele in vintage alexander mcqueen & tom brady.
molly: well suck me sideways, its a supermodel in a dream dress. good lord. favorite!! 
color + pleats + train + vintage mcqueen 
+ supermodel = nirvana! 
he looks ridiculous with the hair, though. 
had to be said. 
(and look! at the bottom of the stairs! 
there's little lord fauntleroy herself...maybe they were making an attempt for matching theme.)
mike: tom: "no more. i know peyton manning doesn't have to go to these things." 
gisele: "yeah, well, peyton manning is a virgin."
tom: "yeah, probably. but why do i have to have the transitioning to long hair pony tail?"
gisele: "cause you're my bitch."
i'll be honest. if gisele wanted me to have long hair, consider my ass steven f*cking segal. beautiful red dress with gisele. nothing to really make fun of here, except tom brady, his three super bowl rings and his trophy wife who makes more money than him.

.rihanna in stella mccartney.
molly: um, ri ri gone cray cray. she's a knockout, but i feel like she wiffed on this one. 
(just hit the ball, sergio!) 
the dress isn't the issue at all... i just can't take it for what it is because of her ginger rapunzel hair... otherwise known as

mike: oh, rihanna...sos, please someone help you. 
no sweetie...no. 
not only do you have the one shouldered andre the giant dress (see strap only over one shoulder) that makes you look like, well, andre the giant... huh, is that what guys think of when they see a trend like the asymetrical sleeve? 
it must be so. weird. in your heads.
you have the tomb raider braid if it were worn by annie. and oh yeah, i can see your vagina. 

.christina ricci in zac posen, with the designer.
molly: woman child! (i need to know what she is on immediately bc sister needs to share. she is 31 years old people. not a wrinkle in sight, that's no joke!) her dress is like a hot mess, though. 
i know, its zaaaaac. (not zacH, zac. got it.) 
its still creepy. spidery. 
how much you wanna bet she's hungry?
mike: look, its christina ricci and fez. ok i know its not wilmer valderamma but who does this dude think he is? zac posen? yeah. he is zac posen. 
aka the designer who made that tim burton movie of a dress--don't brag about designing that. 
however, helena bonham-carter called dibs 
for next year's oscars.

.christina hendricks in carolina herrera with husband geoffrey arend.
molly: this is a weighty issue... i just need to get it off my chest... those horizontal stripes and split sleeves are doing you no favors, darlin. 
us generously endowed girls need to stay away from silhouettes like that. also. rust is "so hot for fall", i know, but i don't like it with her complexion. it looks like there was an oil spill of epic proportions all down her dress. i can appreciate that carolina (ms. hererra if you're nasty) is expanding her horizons a bit... but don't stray too far, ms. C. we love you for you.
mike: christina hendricks looks like a long lost judd sister. wynonna and naomi might not be there, but an ugly dress will make up for their absence.

 (via frontrowking)
they're here now, mike. they're right here.
naomi flew all night so they could be with us. 
she rode wynonna; 
they were like a judd-pegasus. 
a juddasus.
the material looks like 1980's airline seats...
maybe an airline like braniff...
does anyone remember braniff airlines?

(via travelsentry)
i'm sure they do. actually, if you told me i was viewing a lookbook for michael kors 
(i would absolutely kill this outfit! and a hat!) 
i would totally believe you.


and, lastly.

.andre leon talley in nicolas ghesquiere. 
molly: can you teach me how to dougie? 
no? 
how bout loan me your snuggie?!
this looks like a taffeta shower curtain. 
lovely color though. tsk tsk, a-l-t. 
(and i love me some a-l-t!)
i know you're a large man, but there are other options out there besides going full mumu on us. 
mike: welcome andre leon talley and 
the graduating class of 2011. 
some of you will become doctors, some of you 
will become lawyers, some of you 
will live with your parents. 
you're all under this robe.


the end


more looks that i loved but didn't discuss 
formally in the review:

whether you loved or loathed a look seen on this magical night of art & style (or the marked absence thereof), you've gotta admit its interesting. 

...and it gives me something to talk about with a friend from high school whom i haven't seen in person in forrrrrrreeeeeevoooorrrrrrr. sandlot style.

thanks, mike. this was fun. 


xo

mike & molly take on the met

this is not us.

(via zap2it)

this is.

(via ayrsayle.net)

no, not really! geez! 

hope these poor bastards had a totally 

awesome prom circa 1994 though. 

her shoes are dyed to match. 

natch.

(via vogue)
last night was the Costume Institute Gala 

at the Met, celebrating the unveiling of 

their lastest exhibition: 

"Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty." 

there were some incredible fashion moments. 

i thought it would be fun to mix things up and get a man's perspective on all this couture & culture.

my friend mike and i discuss the highs and lows...

but first, you may remember mike's funny analogy here. after reading his commentary below, you may find yourself thinking "is he a gay ginger with a scathing wit & passion for fashion?"...i wish. but i assure you he is not. gay anyway. 

he is in fact a ginger, however. 
(and i love my gingeys!)

he is also a friend of mine from high school who now resides in a beachside town on the jersey shore (i know!) with his lovely wife mary beth; they are expecting their first baby, a girl, in august.  

he is head of ticket sales for the NJ Nets in manhattan (uh yeah, i'm gonna be needin some tickets...) and also happens to do a full repertoire of amazing comedic impressions, including but not limited to: characters from family guy, king of the hill, past presidents george 
w bush & bill clinton, jack black, & nicholas cage. 

but really, who can't do nic cage?! 

i kid.

mike is also a major michael jackson fan--probably would have let jacko have his way with him in the 80's, sweet boy--and credits the sequined gloved one for helping him realize the importance of 
separating the artist from the art. ha. 
he also has a serious man crush on jason segel, and is working his way into the entertainment world, 
one tiny blog post at a time. 
i kid again. obvs. but really, 
be on the lookout; more from this funnyman soon!

now, onto the fabulousness...

(all images via vogue unless otherwise noted)

.diane kruger in jason wu.

molly: ooooh, sexyglam! love this. she is stunning, and her body is ridic. hair, makeup, jewels, clutch = spot on. she wears the hell out of this! also makes me feel like i should stop eating immediately.

mike: the top appears to be mostly glued on loose change--primarily nickels. 700 coins give or take. if that's the case, that shirt is roughly $35--pretty affordable. tough to tell exactly what's going on with the skirt but it seems the studio finally yielded to nic cage's outlandish salary demand to do national treasure 3: diane kruger's right leg.

.chanel iman in dolce & gabbana.
molly: stunning lace, gorgeous accessories, right on red lip, lovely hair, the shoes! oh the shoes! they are insane. christian louboutin pigalili heels. gorge. you could really gouge someone's eyes out 
with those things.
mike: that tall drink of lace right there is kevin durant of the oklahoma city thunder. oh...right...that's actually chanel iman (her dress is not chanel? wtf durant!) with some bedazzled jewels amongst the lace. she looks classy but also looks like she might type 52 wpm as a 1950's secretary.
molly: uh, yeah... if she was this type of secretary.

.stella mccartney in, duh, stella mccartney.
molly: she is lovely--and look at those calves! but um. not a fan of the dress. love her work, usually, but i just don't really get the whole cutoff bottom and add it to the top thing...
absolutely reminds me of this:

 (via holyfrack)
that would be danny devito as the pengiun, people. 
mike: STELLA... is what i'd yell at her... STELLA! what'd you buy that off the rack? how could HER own dress designed by HER not fit HER that well. STELLA...! WTF.

.zoe saldana in calvin klein collection.
molly: one of my faves by far. this woman takes amazing fashion risks, and i believe they definitely pay off! love the color on her, the silhouette is obvs working for her, and her minimal makeup and jewelry choices are perfect. the dress is the star without it wearing her.
mike: other than seeing her avatar wearing this dress, i can't imagine anyone looking sexier in yellow. would have liked to have seen her wear her hair up for this as it would've highlighted her sharktooth necklace perfectly. she's super sexy.

.emma stone in lanvin.
molly: oh i love her! superbadass... this is really fun. bold pattern, unfussy hair, great fit, lovelovelove-ing the bright pink lip! 
i'll bet she's totally fun. and was drinking til dawn.
mike: easy a? unless they're grading on an 8th grade remedial english curve, then no. c+ but its mostly for channeling a dawson's creek era michelle williams with the hair. pacey would be all over that. not me. 

 .jennifer lopez in gucci.
molly: i loooove me some jlo. she just glows, is super sweet, and pretty much embodies what i wanted to be when i was younger. 
(probably the plight of many a skinny white irish girl)
gorgeous, dark, sexy... yet i look at her in this incredible shade of red and all i can think of is this:

(via ropesofsilicon)
i dunno. 
mike: this outfit screams "fuck you kara dioguardi". i am baffled by the shoulder pads made from clifford the big red dog. lot of clutter around her neck... the scarf appears to be made from the blood of paula abdul. like her in red but i also liked the wedding planner. 
molly: i love that you used the terms "outfit" and "clutter" as descriptive terms there. just like a man.

.daphne guinness in alexander mcqueen.
molly: it is the met gala, they're honoring alexander, and he was a dear friend of hers--she also happens to own an incredible archive of couture to choose from, 10 of mcqueen's designs included--so i'll give her this one. she also did a bizarrely cool live performance in the window of barney's ny prior to the gala: guinness spent 7 minutes "changing", and paying homage to not only mcqueen, but also the third in their trio, 
her dear friend isabella blow. 
.
she also closely resembles one of those ladies at a party who serves food on her hoop skirt. with feathers.
mike: ...think victoria beckham if she ate her kids. what can one say about a lady that ravaged the world's remaining bald eagle population to make a mock turtleneck? classy! the bottom of the dress was clearly made from the hopes and dreams of children from third world countries.

.alexa chung in christopher kane.
molly: another one of my favorite looks, though they say one should never wear anything but floor length to the met gala. but rebellion is just so...
alexa chung! 
i lurve her.
the shape of this dress, the detail--pockets! paillettes! liquid plastic detailing! oh, and did i mention they custom made that clutch from the collection for her, for the occasion? #she'smajor
mike: reminds me a little of liz hurley in austin powers. she doesn't look that glamorous here but i really want to party with her (don't we all?!)... like the scene in forest gump when jenny climbs on the balcony with freebird blaring in the background? yeah...that's a chick you wanted to party with... 
like this girl.
molly: agreed, bro montana. agreed.

.kirsten dunst in ...chanel? really?! really.
molly: not gonna lie, it almost feels blasphemous saying this bc its chanel, but... 
blossom called. she wants her dress back. 
this looks like something that was on my itemized christmas list back in '93 from the limited too. 
all she needs is a fisherman's hat with the front folded up and she's gtg. 

(via racked)
mike: she also wore this dress to the premier of jumanji. that said, she was probably around twelve and didn't know any better. even spiderman can't save her from this dress. looks like my grandmother's couch sans the plastic cover.

.liv tyler in givenchy.
molly: if i had wings i would fly, let me contemplate: another top choice pour moi... i think she pulls this off beautifully! the hombre effect with the yellow, the feathers (albeit some of them look like they're literally about to take flight...but its the met gala! its art!), the bright yellow clutch, the perfect jewels...its va va voom at its artful best.
mike: confused by this one...clean white feathers on the top down to the dirty yeti look at the bottom. couple of irregularly places seashells down low. nope, not going to make fun of this. been in love with liv since "that thing you do!"-- she can do no wrong in my eyes. 
i feel you; she's been my girl since those areosmith videos with alicia silverstone.

.naomi campbell in alexander mcqueen.
again, mcqueen on the red carpet of a mcqueen tribute event. i understand and respect the choice...but i don't have to like it. she's rocking bat mitzvah hair with this gladiator cum carwash dress, that is just...wrong. way too much going on. but he was a genius, so... ?!
mike: finally a settlement in her blood diamond case. no jail time; just wear this dress. punishment should and does fit the crime. however, given ms. campbell's quick temper, the creator of this dress was assaulted shortly after the fitting.
ouch. cause. um. he's already dead. unless..she...?! 
too soon. understood.

.renee zellweger in carolina herrera.
one word: moobs.
she is ripped, but i can't decide if its because she works out, is strong and uberfit, or if she's just emaciated. or both. but i do love a sweeping train...
mike: little known fact about renee. we're looking at her full frontal. her back looks exactly the same as the front. true story. although i must say, i usually find her mousy, she looks quite elegant and classy here...despite giving us a sneak peak of "the twins". show bradley cooper what he's missing, kid.

.elle fanning in valentino.
well, now, isn't this precious? 
its little lord fauntleroy.

(via bbcuk)
i mean, really. 
the fanning sisters need a new stylist, stat!
mike: elle appears to have just come from her other job as a chamber maid. child labor laws have ruined this country. like the little updo (me too!) but the lace front shows us she's not quite ready for prime time... in the chestal region. she's plenty cute but i will wait until 2016 to give her my full opinion.
how old will your daughter be by then? 
wink, wink.


...stay tuned as we have a part two to this fiasco coming your way manana! 


thanks again, mike. its been precious.
xo