Monday, October 31, 2011

halloween in the hills

saturday night was super fun. 
actually, one of the most fun nights i've had since moving to la. 
i went to a party in the hills at the gorgeous residence 
of a friend of a friend... 
who apparently has a lot of friends herself. 
there were hundreds of creatively costumed guests, three bars, valet parking, security, food, and one hell of a view. 
uh oh... looks like someone sold out.

remember my last post? 
yeah. well. i didn't have nearly enough time to get creative like i wanted to... so i took my hour and picked up a pre-packaged dorothy getup. 
i know.
my date. isn't she hot?
you know... cause she's a firefighter? 
pretty sure that is a regulation uniform, btw.

love these guys drinking together at the bar. 
there were a ton of different takes on the black swan... but these girls were my fave!
super chic, they put the costumes together themselves, 
and they were very sweet--not to mention hilarious. 
new friends!

toddlers & tiaras "mother"/daughter duo... in character all night! they were awesome.
i would have had a great photo op with this khal drogo if i had gone as khaleesi! 

andy garcia was so there.

omg! jesus christ church of latter day saints guys... complete with backpacks and bike helmets... and incredible name tags! ha!
this girl walked in and everyone was blown away!
she's like...a...faun? i think its called? 
get this: she made the costume herself. 
as in, all of it.
these would be hooves. with feathers and sequins! 
steve jobs.
he actually looked a lot like him. 
(love the "mail order bride" in the background!)
my absolute favorite costume of the night! 
oh, how i love you.
it was a blast. 

have you seen any super creative costumes thus far this year?

happy halloween!  

Friday, October 28, 2011

sexy little conundrum

year after year, without fail, whenever this weekend draws near, women everywhere are faced with the age old dilemma: 
which direction am i going to go with my 
halloween costume this year? 

sexy ___________? 

(i mean, really? this is a thing?! sads.)

(animal/comic book character/secretary/french maid/fairy tale or fabled character/cheerleader/nurse/etc of your choice)
(i'm sorry. i couldn't resist. this is hilarious.)

a pre-packaged _____________ costume from party city or the grocery store or a gas station pop up tent?
(super mario bros? best idea ever! ummmmm no. cleopatra? cheapest, most see-through fabric ever. trust me on this one.)

or creative ____________? 
(i know! i'll be pi. yup, as in 3.14259165! or an m&m! or the bird from twitter! or pull something from my closet that ends up looking like madonna or janis joplin or holly golightly, because that's what i have on hand. no wait! i'll put balloons all over myself and be a grape. yes. definitely a grape.)

check out these rad drawings by jillian tamaki
that so brilliantly illustrate the absurdity of it all...

(via thehairpin, or her website

my favorite is the "sexy first edition of old man & the sea". or "sexy inflammatory email". "sexy inexplicable melancholy!" 
hell, i can't choose. 
these are friggin genius!

i have been invited to a swanky halloween party in the 
hollywood hills this weekend 
(the kind where there's "security" and a "major guest list"), 
to which i must wear a costume.
i'm trying to decide which way to go with it. 

here are the ideas in my head thus far:
(which very well may change when i go to the store. 
tomorrow. of course.)
(via voxtur)
margot tenenbaum?

(via myitthings)
chic joan of arc?

(via wikia)
daemerus targaryen, khaleesi from hbo's game of thrones.
i'm a complete nerd. i know.

 (via artisalive)
mad men style? 

(via amoxiefashionista)
marie antoinette?
i've got the girls for it... and i've always wanted to wear a dress and have hair like this. and look at the purple hair! LOVE.

hmmm... still working on it. 

my favorite so far, though? 

these insanely cool roy lichtenstein looks come-to-life, created by karin stone for m.a.c. cosmetics! 
are you kidding me?! 

methinks i will need a trial run first, obvi. 
hmmmmm. tomorrow night? 

after i spend some time looking around for costumes and rule out 
going as courtney stodden. or a kardashian.

are you dressing up this year? as what?
give me your best costume ever ideas... lets hear it!


Thursday, October 27, 2011

thank you

i am so blown away by the response from this morning's post. 
thank you all so much for the love! 
this has been by far one of my most popular posts; i have received so many tweets, DM's, emails, and messages on fb about it, and i'm so happy that you all read it... and didn't totally write me off!
so many of you share my story, and are fighting your own battles with depression; some have had relationships with a spouse or parent going through it; all of you were truly supportive and i am so humbled by the kind words i received from those of you i've never even met!
i honestly didn't write this fishing for any sort of compliment or reaction at all, really, but i'm so glad that  my brutal honesty was so well-received. thank you for that.

i apologize if i underestimated you all.
turns out nicholson was wrong; you can, indeed, handle the truth.
as this wee little corner of the internet evolves, and i find the specific voice for this blog, i promise to always be honest with you, and to work toward a more consistent format which will inspire and inform you, make you laugh, make you think, and give you insight into my life... because i have a lot of adventure and love to share. 

thank you, thank you, thank you.
(images via pinterest)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

the great depression

"depression is the inability to construct a future." 
--rollo may
i've debated about writing this for a while now because its some pretty personal stuff, but as you may know by now, i am a person who needs to talk about things to work through them. 
i don't hold much back from you guys. 
writing is very cathartic for me, and i appreciate you all reading/listening.

so i've been battling depression for most of my adult life. 

i'm coming out about it. 

well. not that its a big secret or anything, especially to those who know me, but i find that there are so many preconceived notions and such an awful stigma about depression and mental illness in general that many people just don't talk about it. 
well, i'm gonna.

as a teenager, i lost my uncle to AIDS, & my grandfather to brain cancer; my parents separated, we moved school districts, and then my father died unexpectedly of a heart attack, two days before i began my junior year of high school. 
all of this happened within a three year span. 
talk about a mindfuck.
my mind didn't do the best job (understandably so) of handling all of this grief, loss, and change, and thus began my journey 
with depression.

my life did a total 180, and i found myself seeking out fulfillment in so many unhealthy avenues. my mom did the best she could with three kids and her own grief to take care of; i went to a therapist, and eventually rehab when my behavior became dangerous. you name it, i probably did it. but that hole just wouldn't fill. eventually i was able to hear God through all of my mess, and with the help of my family, i pulled myself up out of the muck and got on with my life. but its never been easy. that scared, heartbroken young girl is still in there, and from time to time, i have a tendency to let her 'drive' more than i should. 

i'm a member of the school of thought 
(as are many in the scientific/medical/peoplewhocanread community) that depression is an imbalance of serotonin in the brain.  
it is most definitely a mental illness.
its not always something which manifests in the 
"oh i am soooooooooo sad" variety. 
more often than not, for me, i become withdrawn 
(so not my personality; when i find myself not returning phone calls or emails, and not wanting to be around people, 
i know there's an issue); 
i become exhausted, my temper flares; i lose focus; 
i'm just not myself.  
it may take a while for me to have that moment of clarity 
when i realize that i may need to get back on the ol' "zo"

(zoloft has been the most successful drug/lifeline for me, although i have to say the last round i was on it, i literally couldn't cry; it was borderline hilarious.)

i'm a wife and mama now, and have been so unbelievably blessed with an amazing life--experiences which are very rare and beautiful, for which i'm so grateful--but in times of huge change (hellooooo, moving across the country, not really knowing anyone, and going after the big dream) i find myself fighting against slipping back into old patterns, being more impatient with my girls (and myself), and feeling my inner light dim, if you will. 

After battling this beast for over 15 years, i know what i need to do to take care of myself.
lesson one: if you are experiencing feelings of hopelessness, isolation, helplessness, mental & physical exhaustion, and overwhelming sadness, please don't ignore it, 
or try to self-medicate. 
find a therapist and a doctor who can help you. 

you are not alone. 
this is not your fault, and there is help available. 
hell, email me if you want to, we'll get through it together!

lesson two: just because you "feel better" doesn't mean you should voluntarily come off of your meds. 
so since this is an imbalance of this chemical in your brain, once it works and you get it all balanced out, the last thing you should do is stop it. at least not without talking with your doc first. oops. 

lesson three: do all you can to take care of yourself while finding the right doctor, therapist, meds, etc; i am exercising regularly (to produce natural serotonin! woohoo! its free!), eating healthily, getting enough rest, and trying to keep myself out of potentially risky situations. 
(i have a slight issue with impulse control, see; i once bought a baby chimp and a yellow lamborghini in an afternoon. 
what was i thinking? yellow? seriously???)

also: give yourself a break. find inspiration and motivation in whatever (healthy) means you can. 

so yeah. i've got it. i'm working through it. 
i'll have to keep working through it forever.
and that's ok.

life is a journey, right? a journey meant to be lived beautifully. and as such, we owe it to ourselves, to those who love us, and to the God who made us to live up to our fullest potential.
to fill the single, unique spot in the universe we were each created to fill.
if you're living life with depression, and you're not treating it, you can't really live your best life. 
the mind must be clear in order to hear the whispers of the universe which will help you find your path. 

thanks for indulging me in this post; it has been on my heart and i felt compelled to share this part of me with you.
back to snark tomorrow. :)

Monday, October 24, 2011

whistle for willie pt 2

picking up from where we left off earlier with our 
whistle for willie

inspired finds...

and now, for a little polyvore action.
(i can't help it. my magazine cutout collages always ruled back in the day, so naturally i would love this.)
whistle for willie

birdie's room is done in this color scheme; if i can clean it up in the next day or two, i'll try and remember 
to post a pic of it. 
its so happy and outgoing. just like my girl. 

in a room, i see it like this:
whistle for willie pt 2

PS. that's my girl mfamb's painting above the crib; i know, right? she's got more where that came from...check it out here

i want to plan a party and meals around this palette, too!
i know. i'm a bit much. 
welcome to accessible excess. 
shiny, happy photos.