Wednesday, May 11, 2011

mike & molly take on the met part deux

so last week i posted part one of a co-ed fashion review of incredible gowns from the costume 
institute's gala at the met. 
now, finally, part deux!

lets jump right in, shall we?

(again, all images via Vogue unless otherwise noted)
.florence welch in ysl with stefano pilati.
molly: in 5th grade i did my very first research paper... on yves saint laurent. although not myself a fashion designer, i have always truly adored and admired the work of such creative genius. 
also: have i mentioned my love of gingers?! 
her firey red hair, enormous white fur, and beyond fab 70's-era-channeling ysl gown are spot on, and just so...flo. stefano pilati, maestro as he may be, seems to be channeling a different kind of fabulous.

which is just fine with me... but, i ask of you, 
where the hell are his crazy cool medallions?!
mike: this photo speaks to me. you have one of the beegees in an ascot, a scarf... or is that a dickey. who the f*ck knows? florence welch looks like she'd be hanging with the aforementioned Jenny Gump. [see alexa chung in part one] 
and lastly, she has one angel wing slung over her right shoulder... a trophy of some sort?
lets just hope the dog days aren't over because she skinned snowflake and decided to wear him.

.ashley greene in donna karan.
molly: she is so gorgeous! this dress is stunning, 
and she wears it beautifully. 
her hair & accessories are fine, but... the DRESS. 
kind of obsessed, actually. 
hmmm, wonder where she lives... 
(kidding! its not like i have a lock of her hair in two mini ziplock baggies sewn under the top right corner of my pillow or anything...)
mike: she is one of my favorites, too. 
but the dress doesn't do her justice. 
she looks like the starbucks mermaid. 
plus its kind of bland. 
but, i'd be into her siren song. classy girl. 
sidebar: her portrait nudies on changed my life. consider me officially going greene.
molly: really? reeeeally? you're going there? really?
moving on...

.blake lively in chanel with karl lagerfeld. in himself.
molly: serena vanderwoodsen is my favorite! what? oh come ON, its not like you don't watch it, too. 
and if you don't, you should. love the draping, 
love the color on her--more ginger love!--and am more than slightly jealous that not only is she able to own this look, but be besties with karl! 
may i call you "karl"? 
he looks like a cross between george michael and gary oldman as the old version of nosferatu 
in dracula
mike: she is a tough one for me to figure out. really like her hair that color...she's plenty sexy, but if you're going to rock a it for real. 
karl lagerfeld is doing his thing...
pockets filled to the brim with cialis. 
the medic alert medallion around his neck tells blake who she should call in an emergency. 
i'm 50/50 that he has his jacket on inside out.

.frieda pinto in chanel haute couture.
molly: ugggggh. she is so gorgeous, what the hell? adam levine called; he wants his tie back. 
and he's pissed that you stole his cheap drapes.
(and this is chanel?)
mike: for $200, which blues brother are you channeling: a) jake, b) elwood, c) the one jim belushi played in blues brothers 2000 d) all of them. thanks for playing... 
i asumed they got paid on slumdog millionare. 
freida is normally a woman of style, 
but her swatch watch tells a different story.
(via pinkdandychatter)

.gisele in vintage alexander mcqueen & tom brady.
molly: well suck me sideways, its a supermodel in a dream dress. good lord. favorite!! 
color + pleats + train + vintage mcqueen 
supermodel = nirvana! 
he looks ridiculous with the hair, though. 
had to be said. 
(and look! at the bottom of the stairs! 
there's little lord fauntleroy herself...maybe they were making an attempt for matching theme.)
mike: tom: "no more. i know peyton manning doesn't have to go to these things." 
gisele: "yeah, well, peyton manning is a virgin."
tom: "yeah, probably. but why do i have to have the transitioning to long hair pony tail?"
gisele: "cause you're my bitch."
i'll be honest. if gisele wanted me to have long hair, consider my ass steven f*cking segal. beautiful red dress with gisele. nothing to really make fun of here, except tom brady, his three super bowl rings and his trophy wife who makes more money than him.

.rihanna in stella mccartney.
molly: um, ri ri gone cray cray. she's a knockout, but i feel like she wiffed on this one. 
(just hit the ball, sergio!) 
the dress isn't the issue at all... i just can't take it for what it is because of her ginger rapunzel hair... otherwise known as
mike: oh, rihanna...sos, please someone help you. 
not only do you have the one shouldered andre the giant dress (see strap only over one shoulder) that makes you look like, well, andre the giant... huh, is that what guys think of when they see a trend like the asymetrical sleeve? 
it must be so. weird. in your heads.
you have the tomb raider braid if it were worn by annie. and oh yeah, i can see your vagina. 

.christina ricci in zac posen, with the designer.
molly: woman child! (i need to know what she is on immediately bc sister needs to share. she is 31 years old people. not a wrinkle in sight, that's no joke!) her dress is like a hot mess, though. 
i know, its zaaaaac. (not zacH, zac. got it.) 
its still creepy. spidery. 
how much you wanna bet she's hungry?
mike: look, its christina ricci and fez. ok i know its not wilmer valderamma but who does this dude think he is? zac posen? yeah. he is zac posen. 
aka the designer who made that tim burton movie of a dress--don't brag about designing that. 
however, helena bonham-carter called dibs 
for next year's oscars.

.christina hendricks in carolina herrera with husband geoffrey arend.
molly: this is a weighty issue... i just need to get it off my chest... those horizontal stripes and split sleeves are doing you no favors, darlin. 
us generously endowed girls need to stay away from silhouettes like that. also. rust is "so hot for fall", i know, but i don't like it with her complexion. it looks like there was an oil spill of epic proportions all down her dress. i can appreciate that carolina (ms. hererra if you're nasty) is expanding her horizons a bit... but don't stray too far, ms. C. we love you for you.
mike: christina hendricks looks like a long lost judd sister. wynonna and naomi might not be there, but an ugly dress will make up for their absence.
 (via frontrowking)
they're here now, mike. they're right here.
naomi flew all night so they could be with us. 
she rode wynonna; 
they were like a judd-pegasus. 
a juddasus.
the material looks like 1980's airline seats...
maybe an airline like braniff...
does anyone remember braniff airlines?
(via travelsentry)
i'm sure they do. actually, if you told me i was viewing a lookbook for michael kors 
(i would absolutely kill this outfit! and a hat!) 
i would totally believe you.

and, lastly.

.andre leon talley in nicolas ghesquiere. 
molly: can you teach me how to dougie
how bout loan me your snuggie?!
this looks like a taffeta shower curtain. 
lovely color though. tsk tsk, a-l-t. 
(and i love me some a-l-t!)
i know you're a large man, but there are other options out there besides going full mumu on us. 
mike: welcome andre leon talley and 
the graduating class of 2011. 
some of you will become doctors, some of you 
will become lawyers, some of you 
will live with your parents. 
you're all under this robe.

the end

more looks that i loved but didn't discuss 
formally in the review:

whether you loved or loathed a look seen on this magical night of art & style (or the marked absence thereof), you've gotta admit its interesting

...and it gives me something to talk about with a friend from high school whom i haven't seen in person in forrrrrrreeeeeevoooorrrrrrr. sandlot style.

thanks, mike. this was fun. 


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