Pomp & Circumstance

happy father's day 

to all of you wonderful men 

out there

who make the lives of your children 

better.

of someone else's children 

better.

more full 

of

laughter

joy

humor

bravery

generosity

thoughtfulness

sarcasm

protection

understanding

forgiveness

hugs

tickles

and 

love.

you play a more important role in this world 

than you may know.

you impact the lives of the children in yours more than you will ever know. 

we need you now, we will need you always.

and so, to all the world's many different kinds of daddies...

i

say 

thank you!

 

 

(all above images from flickr, tumblr & pinterest unless otherwise noted.)

daddy, 

i miss you every day.

i wish you were here 

every. 

day.

i thought that as i grew older, it would get easier being without you. 

it did for a while. 

but in the last few years, 

i realized

i 

was 

wrong.

when i really open up

let down my guard

and let myself feel it

my heart aches

so much.

it breaks 

over 

and

over 

again.

i miss being a child 

with you

as my daddy.

i miss hearing your car pull in the garage; 

feeling that ecstatic rush

of happiness

to see your face.

running out to the garage 

opening your car door

putting on your suit jacket

and carrying 

your 

briefcase

inside.

i miss sitting in the palm of your hand.

i miss your sarcastic humor, 

though i have definitely 

inherited my fair share. 

as have k & c.

i miss your smell.

i miss the softness 

of my cheek on your shoulder. 

on  your

ll bean

chambray shirt.

i miss so many things i can't 

even think about

because 

it hurts too much.

i think of all of the moments i wish you were here to share.

i wish my children could know you.

they would truly adore you.

and you would be enamored of them. 

i wish you could know david. 

you two are so much alike.

you would approve.

he is a good man, and takes care of me the way you would.

i wish i could hear your voice again.

i wish i could feel myself 

so tiny 

in your arms 

again.

i wish, just for a moment, i could go back to being 16, 

and not have my emotional growth 

stunted

the way it was

when we lost you.

i wish so many things 

for 

k 

& 

c. 

we all miss you so very much.

i like to think you are able to see how much we've grown. 

i often feel you with me.

i see the 

yellow butterflies

and i feel you.

i know you are with God.

i know that you are blissfully happy

free

and

beautiful.

i know that i will see you again.

but my heart still breaks, 

every 

single 

day

because you aren't here now.

i love you daddy. 

i always will. 

xo