today is brought to you by the letters w, t, & f

morning!

its friday. again! cray cray how that days of the week thing works, eh?

so excited to mark my first full week of blogging.

my anniversary, if you will...

(muahhahahahahaha!)

i'd like to thank God for giving me the gift of being hilarious, talented, and fabulous. 

he knows whats up.

also, thank my parents for instilling in me the dedication to do something for seven days in a row. especially with two children. 

major accomplishment.

of course i'd also like to thank my children, 

for being inspiring and ridiculously funny every day; for doing things like having tempertantrums in target and for writing on the walls in permanent marker, things which kind of force me to have an even bigger sense of humor; and for, essentially, giving me cause to keep trader joe's in business soley by buying all of their two buck chuck.

big props go out to my friends, who put up with my craziness & still love me (its because i'm awesome). who are patient when i say i'm sending a gift for their newborn baby and end up waiting 5 months, or when i run an hour late to my own birthday dinner. who not only accept the fact that i'm like a golden retriever puppy who gets excited about pretty much everything and piddles on the rug, but love me for it. who keep in touch with me from mountains, islands & suburbia, even when i don't do the best job returning the favor. 

(ok this was all meant to be satirical 

but now i'm getting seriously misty eyed...

nerd...forgive me...pms...)

to the fabulous mfamb, who is a friend & also my sister wife; she gave me the essential kick in the taco i needed to jump on this crazy blogger train.

lastly, but most importantly, i'd like to thank my husband, david. he took a chance on an amazing job opportunity, moved to california 8 weeks ago, and is working his ginger tail off to create a life out there for us so we can join him in a few months. this seemingly insane move has definitely pushed me over the edge mentally creatively, giving me 

a lot to vent write about every day.

i love you babe, and can't wait til we're in the same time zone.

wtf, you say? seriously? no. not seriously. 

i'm messing with you. 

(this is not an april fool's joke. i told you i was never funny on purpose. though if i should trip & fall or break something today--pretty much a guarantee--i'll let you know later.)

yay coffeeeeeeee! 

now to the good stuff.

for your discerning opinion, i submit the following items this friday morning:

katy perry's new single & video w kanye.

apparently aliens have a thing for 

people with vitiligo.

also, katy has deer legs. and we get to see vinnie vitiligo's bum.

up next: 

this disturbing sight. 

if you could milk yourself...wouldya?

ewwww. 

now to get that image out of your head...

got this little gem in my inbox, and i have to wonder...

wtf?

will my huge following of male readers be flocking to the daily candy website to learn how they, too, can spend hours in the bathroom in the mornings applying their perfect shade?  

don't get me wrong, i'm an actor. men wear makeup on set/in plays/photoshoots/etc. there is also time & place for makeup on men... clubs, special nights out.

(via tumblr)

my gays can probably attest to this. 

(how can i say that without sounding horribly discriminatory?!)

hell, i've even been known to put concealer on a guy friend/brother/husband should 

the occasional blemish arise.

but i swear, if my husband asks me what season he is, or starts applying some masquliner or manscara, we're gonna have issues.

although...

(via tumblr)

if this is what happens when men wear makeup, 

i'm on board. big time.

lastly, have you seen these adorable twin babies?!

(i know, its quite a jump.come on over.)

they are having a full on conversation at what, 12 months? so adorable. this kinda makes me want to procreate. ha! there's my april fools' joke! haahahaha. hahaa. ha.  ha.        ha.

are you playing tricks on people today? 

do you think this blog as a whole is a well-executed, if drawn-out, april fools' joke?

have you ever been punked on april fools' day?

lemme hear it.

have fun today, kids. just remember...its all fun and games til somebody starts shoving random items into body crevices. then its just gross.

xo