i attended the premiere of hbo's new show luck last night,
and was busy busy busy figuring out what to wear,
arranging babysitters, etc.
it was an epic party, i must say.
star-studded, over the top fun.
watching a show of this caliber, surrounded by the artists who created it, and who care about the art as a medium as much as i do was honestly a thrill.
this evening i enjoyed the luxury of a long, solo drive, and got to thinking about change.
more specifically, the feelings that real change evokes in us.
real change takes time, and can be hard and uncomfortable.
it can make us feel crazed, out of control,
itchy in a way that can't be scratched.
or at least it does for me.
i don't like feeling so uncomfortable, especially since i'm already living in a completely new place, still trying to get acclimated to a new routine with new people.
but tonight it hit me:
change is supposed to feel this way.
its ok.
that tendency to push back, that stubbornness, is natural.
we're human beings, and i think our minds
and bodies fight against it.
have you ever felt this way?
for me at least, its critical to remind myself that
this change is happening because i'm choosing to make it happen.
this is good change, and even though it feels strange,
i know it is right.
it can be hard to accept and make peace with these feelings
while in the midst of it, but the very recognition of them diminishes their power and helps you regain peace and balance.
i was faced with a ginormous plate of gorgeous, chocolatey goodness this evening in the form of delicious brownies
--they were within my grasp for over two hours--
and the internal struggle i faced was embarrassingly tough.
i could have devoured the entire batch in one sitting,
but i chose not to eat one.
and i was hungry.
like with that tummy-rumbling, gnawing, i have got to eat something now kind of hunger.
but then i thought,
"is being hungry the worst thing that can happen?"
no.
i then proceeded to ask myself a series of other questions, all leading me to be able to not eat the brownies, and wait until i got home to enjoy a light salad and lots of water.
it sucked.
do me a favor. wherever you are right now, take in a big breath, and then exhale. now before you inhale again, just spend a few moments in that space of not breathing. not holding your breath, really, but not inhaling, either. feel that semi-panic rise in you as you anticipate when your next breath will come. your brain knows you have the power to take a breath, and that you will; yet the panic is there, just the same. its like that for me when i'm hungry.
(i'm still hungry as i write this, but i think my body is more hungry for sleep than for food.)
facing change may be easier for you,
(for your sake, i hope it is!)
and you have my full permission to laugh at how ridiculous i am for having to use all of my faculties to not eat a damn brownie, but that's how i'm wired.
i'm learning to be ok with the discomfort.
i'm realizing that by accepting and recognizing it, i can then take another step into the darkness, towards the brilliant unknown of what the next part of my journey holds for me.
she basically started the dessert table trend years ago, and has been topping herself --and inspiring entertainers everywhere, myself included-- ever since! i realize i sound like a commercial...but i promise i'm not being paid or anything to endorse this. she's just that good.
i can't wait to read the book...
but we'll have to wait until april 24th!
this sucker is jam-packed with 15 chapters of deliciousness featuring 100 recipes for incredible treats, 75 diy craft ideas, and endless inspiration.
pre-order yours at amazon or b&n online today for only $18.46!
you're probably asking yourself one of two questions:
either
"where was she yesterday? i missed her soooooo!"
or
(more likely)
"when is she going to be done with this ridiculousness? i'm over the vlogs..."
well.
i was busy in the rain yesterday, sorry.
i missed you, too.
also.
i'm not sure when i'm going to be done with the cleanse, but i will definitely try and break up the videos so you don't end up hating me and my eleventyzillion facial expressions.
pinbinge wednesday action mañana.
are you cleansing?
are you dirty?
let me hear it.
and in case you were in need of a silly hat fix for the day...
a few things to note:
*i'm learning to edit as i go along. don't hate.
honestly, i have like five minutes to put these up
(in between having shoes thrown at my head by one kid, my pants tugged on by another kid asking for a snack, trying to schedule my life and use my pinterestapp simultaneously. you dig?)
*"i feel like i could go forever without sugar..." i'm lying.
*"balls of wonder". yup. i said it.
*finally, and most importantly:
i do realize this is not rocket science, and that there are much more important things going on in the world.
as i write this, a friend's mother is fighting for her life in the hospital, and i pray she'll be alright.
this just happens to be a medium that i really enjoy creating (hate watching myself afterward, but that's neither here nor there) and i really love and appreciate you watching!
i got a super rad surprise yesterday that i can't wait to share with you this weekend!!!
i'm thinking of taking this act on the road;
the mean streets of la, that is.
you wanna see me learn to surf?
(insert riotous laughter here)
go shopping on melrose?
climb some awesome rocks?
(that can actually happen)
take a pure barre or trx class?
(again, with the laughter)
ride horses through the canyon at sunset?
take sailing lessons?
drink too much vino and completely embarrass myself on a winery tour?
give me your honest thoughts and opinions.
really, i can take it!
(i know jenny will comment--TY, sisterwife!--but who else?!)
if you tell me to never make another video again, that's cool.
after everyone was sick in my house over the holidays
(and is again, currently),
and of course after too much indulgence and not enough exercise during the month of septobernovcember,
i am desperately seeking a leaner, cleaner physique.
inside and out.
thus, the cleanse.
everyone and their sister in los angeles is on one.
juicing, cleansing, fasting... living on air and sunshine.
and water.
tons of water.
i've been checking out different types of cleanses for months now, and i think i am finally settled on this one.
i've been eating "clean" for about 2 weeks, with slip ups here and there due to two little ones' birthdays, and the delicious cake & cupcake baking/"tasting" that was involved...
where she set a goal to do 30 workouts in 30 days this month,
at 30 minutes a day, minimum. while she was here over the holidays i got the grand idea to do it with her;
"its only 30 minutes a day, how hard can it be?"...
um.
turns out, its harder than you'd think.
especially when your family is sick, you turn another year older, your babies turn another year older, & you have house guests.
and your dog dies.
methinks its time to pull my head out of my arse and
get
a
friggin
move on
already.
so.
not only am i starting my own personal 30 in 30, i'm also doing the cleanse. starting with these green power smoothies....
*dislcaimer: i am fresh from a workout and makeupless... my kids are running around playing in the background... i am not a professional. obvs.
while this wasn't a complete success, i'm working on the perfect
green smoothie recipe.
until i find it, i think tomorrow calls for berry smoothies for breakfast, butternut squash soup for lunch, & then the kale slaw with red cabbage salad for dinner.
yum yum.
xo
ps. seriously. have you tried any cleanses, juice fasts, etc?
i love his humor, and think people take him way too seriously far too often. the globes are meant to be more laid back than the oscars; there is drinking and socializing going on, people!
lets lighten up a bit, shall we?
some notes:
christopher plummer
"to my wife...whose bravery and beauty haunts me still"
kate winslet wins best actress in a miniseries or tv movie.
(and makes her first public appearance with new love nick rocknroll. yes, that's actually his real name. but don't feel too badly for the lad; his uncle is sir richard branson.
so he's doing alright. sigh.)
oh, beautiful kate.
love her.
a bit safe on the dress, but lovely still.
kelsey grammar wins best actor in a drama series.
and backstage drops the bomb that he and his new wife
she gives a very sweet speech, thanking her daughter for her "bravery and exuberance", and for "sending [her] off to this job every day with a hug and a kiss."
peter dinklage wins best supporting actor in a miniseries
or tv movie! yeah!
he's brilliant in this role.
if you haven't seen game of thrones, you must.
can't wait for season 2.
he also used the stage wisely; during his acceptance speech he asked viewers to google the name "martin henderson". upon further research, it appears he is a fellow dwarf who was severely injured when he was recently "tossed" in new zealand.
acts of this nature are not humorous, and i find it appalling things like this still happen.
how noble of peter to thank the right people for his award, recognizing the honor, and use the platform for a higher purpose.
paula patton.
really?
aren't we just a bit much?
maybe she had four martinis too many, or maybe she is just that nice and excited.
(honestly, i'm like this in real life, and i know it can be a tad overwhelming for people...)
she is gorgeous, though. wondering where her handsome husband was last night, however...
felicity & bill.
cutest couple ever!
thank you from rescuing us from the typical scripted drivel.
jessica lange wins best supporting actress for AHS. (jenny's probably having a fit over this one!)
and so funny! he wins for best actor in a drama film, and his movie wins for best drama film. he first comes onto the stage using a cane, making me wonder what had happened to the dear man... turns out he was roasting brad pitt, who had recently been in a skiing accident.
must also see the descendants.
well, that about wraps up the show... fashion recap to follow! xo
